Hope everyone had a beautiful weekend and had a great Mothers Day. It was nice going to NY to see my mom, but that drive...ugh. She loved her gift, but was more excited about the fact that Hunny and I went to see her--I haven't been back home since Christmas. But I'm back to reality, and I'm sitting at work with the randomness on my mind:
-Do moms go to work the day after Mothers Day and compare gifts or lie about what they got? "Girrrrrlll, my son got me a trip to Antarctica to see da penguins!" LOL
-Why do people always tilt their head to the side in a picture? Remember in school on picture day the photographer would always have you tilt your head in some unnatural feeling way, but it was really cuz your head was leaning so you had to compensate to make it look straight?
-It seems like the grown ass men who still live with their mamas (I mean over the age of 27) have the most evil mothers/grandmothers!
-It's not smart to wear thin white linen pants with white panties with big azz red and blue flowers on them. We can see that, and it looks nasty. (I'm sitting across from that at work today. I've almost lost my breakfast a few times)
-If you know you have massive cellulite on the back of your thighs, do not...and I repeat...DO NOT think it's okay for you to not wear tight pants and no underwear. All that cellulite looks like smashed up cottage cheese, and when you switch your ass thinking you look cute, you're making everyone behind you feel unwell.
-If you're going to wear a tank top, ladies, make sure you shave your daggone underarms. I'm really tired of seeing women, especially my sistas, walking around looking like they have Cousin It in a chokehold.
-Black women, I don't know what your grandmamas told yall, but we shave. There is no reason for you to walk around with your legs looking like a pelt of deer fur because your grandmama and 'nem told you that "black women don't shave". That may have been the case 900 years ago, but for the love of cleanliness, get some Nair or something.
-Do not think it's okay to sneeze on me "Because I'm not contagious--it's just allergies". Look, you might think it's allergies, but in my world snot is still snot and I don't want yours on me or my clothing. Here's a kleenex, work it out.
-Girl, I know you're excited about your upcoming trip to Miami. I'm happy you're going and will be able to see your man, cuz I know long distance relationships are hard. But telling me every hour how you can't wait to go and how your man said he will meet you at the airport and how you said you want to buy a new car before your man gets here cuz you want to surprise him doesn't make the next two weeks go by any faster
-Yes, I have micros at the moment. No you can't touch them, especially cuz they just got done and are extra tight, so they're a lil sore. And please don't ask me how they got put in, read about it online.
-If you have corns and hammer toes, PLEASE get that fixed before you wear a pair of strappy sandals.
-When you get offended by something someone at work says to you, it is no longer funny to say "Ya Mama" in retort. This is a corporate office, not a playground. And lunch time is not recess.
-I have a huge stack of work in my inbox, but I don't feel like doing it
-Do moms go to work the day after Mothers Day and compare gifts or lie about what they got? "Girrrrrlll, my son got me a trip to Antarctica to see da penguins!" LOL
-Why do people always tilt their head to the side in a picture? Remember in school on picture day the photographer would always have you tilt your head in some unnatural feeling way, but it was really cuz your head was leaning so you had to compensate to make it look straight?
-It seems like the grown ass men who still live with their mamas (I mean over the age of 27) have the most evil mothers/grandmothers!
-It's not smart to wear thin white linen pants with white panties with big azz red and blue flowers on them. We can see that, and it looks nasty. (I'm sitting across from that at work today. I've almost lost my breakfast a few times)
-If you know you have massive cellulite on the back of your thighs, do not...and I repeat...DO NOT think it's okay for you to not wear tight pants and no underwear. All that cellulite looks like smashed up cottage cheese, and when you switch your ass thinking you look cute, you're making everyone behind you feel unwell.
-If you're going to wear a tank top, ladies, make sure you shave your daggone underarms. I'm really tired of seeing women, especially my sistas, walking around looking like they have Cousin It in a chokehold.
-Black women, I don't know what your grandmamas told yall, but we shave. There is no reason for you to walk around with your legs looking like a pelt of deer fur because your grandmama and 'nem told you that "black women don't shave". That may have been the case 900 years ago, but for the love of cleanliness, get some Nair or something.
-Do not think it's okay to sneeze on me "Because I'm not contagious--it's just allergies". Look, you might think it's allergies, but in my world snot is still snot and I don't want yours on me or my clothing. Here's a kleenex, work it out.
-Girl, I know you're excited about your upcoming trip to Miami. I'm happy you're going and will be able to see your man, cuz I know long distance relationships are hard. But telling me every hour how you can't wait to go and how your man said he will meet you at the airport and how you said you want to buy a new car before your man gets here cuz you want to surprise him doesn't make the next two weeks go by any faster
-Yes, I have micros at the moment. No you can't touch them, especially cuz they just got done and are extra tight, so they're a lil sore. And please don't ask me how they got put in, read about it online.
-If you have corns and hammer toes, PLEASE get that fixed before you wear a pair of strappy sandals.
-When you get offended by something someone at work says to you, it is no longer funny to say "Ya Mama" in retort. This is a corporate office, not a playground. And lunch time is not recess.
-I have a huge stack of work in my inbox, but I don't feel like doing it
6 Comments:
How bad do you wanna tell the folks in your office about themselves? LOL
I don't/didn't compare mommy day gifts. I did complain about the school not doing handmade cards...but that's it! LOL
These people at your office are ridiculous! The warmer weather brings out the nasties...whenever I see some chick wearing something she knows she looks gross in, I have to go to a "happy place" to keep myself from throwing up. That and the fat, nasty men who think walking around with their manboobs and pregnant stomachs showing is "sexy." Yucky.
I remember seeing some Latina woman at the bus stop last year. She wore some flimsy see-through khakis that she probably got for $5 at Rave and you could see her underwear...it said "LOVE" in turquoise on her wide and flat ass. Ewwwwwwww! It took forever to get that nasty thought out of my mind!
LOL! Gotta love work :)
Stopping by to say some hi....hi!
e.
eclectik-relaxation.com
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How is she supposed to fix hammer toes? (LMAO) Don't you have to get surgery for that?
I'm really tired of seeing women, especially my sistas, walking around looking like they have Cousin It in a chokehold."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Too much, Tasha!
lmao @antartica. hilarious. grown men who live w/their mamas are the way they are b/c of their mamas/grandmas. that's why the women are evil. b/c they've been catering to/babying that man for more than 1/4 century and they don't want some floozy comin in and ruinin it. RUN.
vomit at the linen and flowered panties. my sister used to cough without covering her mouth if it "wasn't from bein sick." i was like wtf is wrong w/you? we weren't raised like that and don't cough in my direction for any reason. nasty.
there's nothing i want to hear about every single day. stfu kindly. your coworkers are out of their minds.
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