Going to the chapel

I had a disturbing conversation with one of my co-workers today. She told me she's desperately trying to find a man so she can get married. When I asked her why she's so pressed to be married, she told me it's because she's a virgin and she wants to have sex. She mentioned nothing about wanting to fall in love and be with her husband for the rest of her days. Nothing about the vows, but everything about the dress, the gifts, and the sex on the first night. When I pressed her more, she actually said she'd probably divorce then she'd be free to have sex with whomever she wanted with no strings attached.

I have no idea why people feel so comfortable telling me all their business, but I guess that's just the way of my world. But her comments got me thinking about all those girls that were featured in the news stories about Chastity Balls, where they signed contracts with their daddies stating that they'd wait until marriage to do the dirty. I have to wonder, with the divorce rate in this country being what it is, what would happen if those girls got divorced. Would they then be free to do whomever whenever, or would they be bound by the contract to remain celibate until marriage again?

I'm also so saddened that people actually look at marriage as a joke--something they have to do as a formality before they have sex. What about the love aspect. I know for some people, that choice is a religious one and I absolutely respect that choice, but I have no respect for people who dismiss the sanctity of the institution. I'm also left wondering if young(er) people are actually prepared for marriage. I mean, are the daddies who are signing these contracts with their daughters teaching them how to maintain a healthy marriage? Or are they simply making their daughters sign a contract for their own peace of mind, so they "know" their little girl isn't out getting her freak on.

That also led me to wonder about all the shows on TV about Bridezillas and big huge hoopla weddings. I admittedly like those shows, just because I know the "evil-bride" probably watches the show and is like "Damn I acted a fuggin fool on there". I understand the concept of a wedding being the bride's day, and while I don't agree--I feel it's a day to celebrate the couple, I know planning the event is stressful and can lead to frayed nerves. However, when I see the brides acting a plumb fool cussin out their friends and loved ones over some frou frou details, I wonder what kind of messages are being sent to young people (especially girls) about marriage as a whole. On many of those shows, the groom rarely seems excited and there is hardly any mention of love or intent to be together forever or at the very least an extended period of time.

I know money is the leading cause of divorce, but I have to wonder if more of it has to do with people marrying for the wrong reasons. Hearing ol' girl talk about marriage that way is depressing. Is it really that hopeless? Is a growing majority of us really that shallow??

I'm rambling now, so get at me in the comments.