I Am NOT a Cupcake

D and I managed to have a really good weekend, we did date night twice and saw "The Kingdom" (If you like action, go see it. We loved it!!). We also saw the builders, and we're going over the plans for one townhouse now. I'm so excited to see us actually moving forward with this. *doing happy dance* Can't wait to flex my interior design muscles, lol.

But while he did whatever it is men do on Saturday mornings, I busied myself with wedding gown shopping. Umm. Let me just say, I.hate.this.with.a.passion. I actually enjoy trying on dresses and crinolines and stuff, but I hate the salespeople that come along with it. See, I say all the time that I'm not a small girl...I've lost 60 lbs or so over the last 15 months, but still teetering between plus size and non-plus size. Anyhoo, the salespeople at every wedding store I've been to seem to think that because I'm a woman of some size that I want some big azz poofy, tulle-d to hell nightmare of a dress. You know, looking like some abstract Picasso-ized rendition of Cinderella.

I went to four different places on Saturday, and while I was looking at the styles that I like (mostly A-line cut dresses), I was directed toward the "big poof". The tight bodice with the big azz tulle and netting mess at the bottom. Like this:

If you like that kind of thing, more power to you. But not this chick. Just for kicks and giggles, I tried the dress on at three of the places I went to, and each and every single one of the sales lady said something to the effect of "Aww you look like a little cupcake. How cute! That style looks best for your body type".

What.the.fugg?! How is saying that I look like a cupcake a good thing? Compliment? Ok, so lemme tell your little skinny knock-kneed behind that you look like a dried-up chicken wing and that you could benefit from eating a sandwich or five. That's offensive, right? But telling the big girl that she looks like a cupcake isn't?? Grrr!!! I like wedding cake, but I don't want to look like one.

I know people have my best intentions or lining their wallets in mind when they "guide" us towar certain wedding items, but I have to wonder if they listen when I tell them what we want. We don't want some behemoth of a wedding, we want it small and simple; so don't send us to the behemoth reception location. Parents, friends, and almost everyone that has a pulse who has found out about the impending nuptials say something like, "Well if it were me, I'd do it this way..." or "When me and ol' fart got married, we did it that way, and I'm sure you all would love it..." or even worse "I'll call the super expensive azz wedding coordinator that completely fugged up my wedding, and have her call you...". The best one we've heard, "Y'all should go on that 'Who's Wedding is it anyway' show so you can get a free hotel stay". Just puke. We know D is a veteran, but we don't want a military wedding, so stop suggesting it. We know we have a lot of friends yet want a very small wedding, so stop suggesting that we have 500 guests. We don't care about the gifts, we don't care about the flower arrangements, we just want to be married dammit. And I don't want to look like a cupcake in the process. *sigh* maybe we should just elope--and we're thinking about it. Maybe doing the JP, then having a bigger wedding later just so we know we can have the wedding for US, and then make THEM happy later. *sigh* Sorry for the rant yall. Hope you had a good weekend.