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Thursday, June 28, 2007
Escalator to Hell
I've just been informed that I'm on an express escalator to Hell. I guess I'll stop and get some cute red shoes along the way--gotta match the devil you know. *sigh*, the sarcasm.

I, like most other people, have the set of "that" family. The ones people don't really mess with because they're all certifiably crazy and that you can't really bring to many social functions because you know they'll embarass themselves and you.

My great aunt, she is one of them. My mom called and told her about the engagement (or pending engagement, however you want to look at it) and she was none too pleased about the news. Auntie Sharlese, who is close to elderly but far far from senile called me last night to vent her feelings about it.

Auntie: "Child. Child. Child. You know you gon' go to see Satan cuz this, right?"

Me: "Why Auntie?"

Auntie: "You aint posed to let no man axe you to marry him like that."

Me: "Why? I thought that was tradition."

Auntie: "A woman don't lay back and wait for no man to axe her questions like that. You posed to go get what you want. You weak child, you weak. You ain't gon' be no good wife. God don't like Ugly, and He don't like weak neither."

Me: "In what Bible does it say this?"

Auntie: "Don't question me."

Me: "Auntie, it's been nice talking to you, I have to go to bed."

I know there is no reasoning with her. Gotta love the fam!


Blogger Minerva Exertion said...

How a man is supposed to "axe" you? I don't get her reasoning. Make sure you pick up a nice red leather clutch too.

Blogger JustMeWriting said...

WHAT? WOW! LOL...Um, since it's family I'll keep quiet...lol.

Blogger beautyinbaltimore said...

Does she have a diagnosed mental illnes or is she just different.

Blogger Ms. Behaving said...

Girl we all got em' and we gotta love em' :-D

Hopefully she'll come around!

Blogger Honey-Libra said...

Umm is she married and if he died I dont feel sorry for him I'm sure he's happy sike let me stop...said that older folks can still be jealous..you should have been like God also said dont judge me and hung up LOL

Blogger Shai said...

LOL. Damned if you do or don't. If you were assertive than you would be too strong huh? LOL.

Fam can be very interesting and crazy.

Anonymous AR Gal said...

I am over here cracking up laughing! The things our elders say.....ha ha ha

Blogger Miz JJ said...

LOL. Why would you call someone up to tell them they are going to hell and they are weak? That is so negative. I am laughing, but I am also SMH.

Blogger Ladynay said...

Gotta love da fam!

Blogger eclectik said...

LMAO@"Don't question me"




The Message board (Grown folk talk)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gotta love your auntie.

Were you supposed to propose to D (instead of the other way around) :-)

Respect your elders, but follow your path.

Blogger Tenacious said...


Well CONGRATS!!!! is in order first of all :)

Ummm wow...do your aunt attend the same church of "Fucked Up Logic" as my cousin?

Knowing me I would've told her I thought I was going to see Satan due to all of the premarital sex I am having....but thats just me :)

eh we all have nutty family members...just "misplace" her invite to the wedding

Blogger jameil1922 said...

LMAO!! oh hilarious.

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