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Thursday, October 26, 2006
Sista Big Bone?
Why when a man makes an attempt to holla, does he have to mention your size?? This morning, I was walking from my car into work and I hear some trifling excuse for a pick up line, "OOOHHHH, Sista Big Bone, can a brotha walk you home?? Look like a plate of Neckbones" I know he got this line from Anthony Hamilton's song, so he thought he was stepping up his flirt game. He was probably thinking something to himself along the lines of "I know this girl must think I'm the shit cuz now she knows I be listenin' to that neo-soul stuff that dem sophisticated-type bruhs be jammin to"

Of course he got the quickest "I'm sorry, I'm not interested" that I could muster without sounding rude, but it wasn't just the pick up line...he was just a mess from head to toe and brain to soul so I couldn't even fake it and act interested. But going back to the pick up line, and the song for that matter. There are several things wrong with it. Let me break them down for you, and feel free to add more as you see fit.

1) "Sista Big Bone, can a brotha walk you home": Nothing appears wrong with this on the surface, but you just called me Sis. Big Bone. You really felt the need to make light of the fact that I'm not a size 2. Granted, I'm comfortable with my big-bonedness, I even like it, and a lot of men do too, but you don't know me so you wouldn't know that. Rule of life--don't make light of a woman's weight until you know her fairly well. Calling her "big-boned" when she thinks she's anorexic-tiny or when she's already painfully ashamed of her body may get you hurt, badly.

2) "...Look like a plate of neckbones": What?? OK, you just compared me to food. Am I not human? I know neckbones taste good to some of you, but damn why because I'm big do I have to look like food? You wouldn't say that to a skinny girl even if she were just as attractive would you? And for the record, neckbones look like this:

They are not attractive. Chopped up pieces of pork, and you have the nerve to say that I look like that?? Da hell is wrong wit you? You wouldn't tell a skinny girl, "Look like a plate of Reduced-Fat Potato Chips" would you?

That's really it about the song, but in general, why do people feel the need to holla and let a big girl know that he finds her attractive but also throw in there that he notices her thickness? No, this is not a "fat acceptance" speech or a Monique-type tirade about how skinny women are evil. I'm just asking, damn, don't you see that I'm " regular people" too, just like the skinny girl?

And because I'm sure someone will mention this, I DO know the difference between big boned and just outright fat. I happen to be the former (big boned and proud). Also, please save the "you should go to the gym to make your ass and thighs smaller" speech for your skinny friends who wouldn't know what to do with a treadmill if their life depended on it. I actually go to the gym and workout regularly, so if you see me eating pizza every now and again, I earned it!


Blogger Golden Silence said...

I think the "hollaing" to a woman regardless of her size is just plain tacky. There are better ways to get a woman's attention.

(And ITA that if men try to talk to a woman and get her attention, you better LOOK the part!)

Anonymous Kelly said...

This made me laugh and chuckle at work. The thought that someone out there really thinks telling a woman that she looks like a plate of neckbones is too much for me to handle.

I'm a size 14, not a tiny girl by any means, but I think I'd just be baffled by the neckbone part. But then again, I just might not understand the slang. Maybe the dude who wrote the song really had a craving for some neckbones.

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