Happy Monday! I spent most of the weekend chilling and enjoying the weather. On Friday evening, D and I went to dinner with a former co-worker of mine from back home. She was in town on vacation with her kids and looking for jobs since she hopes to move down here soon. The dinner was nice, but her kids are something else! Her daughters are 14 and 16, and they have some mouth on them. They were cussing more than the rest of us, and the older daughter was going on about how she tried birth control but it didn't work. Based on the look from her mama's face she may as well have inserted foot in mouth. She tried to cover her tracks by saying "oh, I kept forgetting to take the pill, that's what I mean". I could tell that was some kinda lie. I'm sure her mama was all in her face about that after we had dinner and went our ways.
Saturday I handled a few outstanding errands, then took some 'me' time and went to the library and took out a bunch of books. I brought them home and spent the afternoon on the balcony reading and enjoying a few glasses of wine. Just lovely.
Sunday we went looking at cars for me, since I'm officially in the market again. My car is only a year old but it's not what I want. I kind of got roped into it after the accident last year, so I decided I'll bite the bullet and trade mine in to at least get what I really want. I might have to pay a little more per month, but at least I'll be driving something that's comfortable for me. Gotta pay to have what you want sometimes. Later on we went out to dinner and then hit the couch for some quality football time.
My mom called last night to shoot the breeze as usual, and the more I talk to her the more I realize just how silly she is. I love my mama!
Mom: "Have you ever seen someone and just want to smack the piss out of them?"
Me: "What!? Mom, you are on your gangsta lately"
Mom: "Child! I'm not in a gang!!"
Me: "That's not what I mean. But anyway, why do you want to smack someone?"
Mom: "Cuz she knows better than to walk in church with her big booty and huge mammy titties hanging out. That's the house of the Lord honey. The LORD. You don't dress like that. No damn home training"
Me: "I hear you. But isn't it just as bad to want to smack someone in His house?"
Mom: "This ain't bout me *laughs*"
Me: "Yes ma'am."
Mom: "Looking like Lacey Lottalumps the stripper or something. Like she left the club and went straight to church without changing."
Me: "Lacey Lottalumps? What in the world???"
Mom: "Yup. Her lacey bra was showing and she had a lotta lumps. You know cottage cheese type cellulite and stuff. I know it's not right to talk about people like that. But can you cover it up for a little while? Damn, at least wait till my breakfast is digested before you show that stuff off like that."
Me: "Wow. Just wow mom."
My mom is a damn fool sometimes, but ya can't help but love her. Anyhoo, hope yall had a good weekend! What'd you get into??
Saturday I handled a few outstanding errands, then took some 'me' time and went to the library and took out a bunch of books. I brought them home and spent the afternoon on the balcony reading and enjoying a few glasses of wine. Just lovely.
Sunday we went looking at cars for me, since I'm officially in the market again. My car is only a year old but it's not what I want. I kind of got roped into it after the accident last year, so I decided I'll bite the bullet and trade mine in to at least get what I really want. I might have to pay a little more per month, but at least I'll be driving something that's comfortable for me. Gotta pay to have what you want sometimes. Later on we went out to dinner and then hit the couch for some quality football time.
My mom called last night to shoot the breeze as usual, and the more I talk to her the more I realize just how silly she is. I love my mama!
Mom: "Have you ever seen someone and just want to smack the piss out of them?"
Me: "What!? Mom, you are on your gangsta lately"
Mom: "Child! I'm not in a gang!!"
Me: "That's not what I mean. But anyway, why do you want to smack someone?"
Mom: "Cuz she knows better than to walk in church with her big booty and huge mammy titties hanging out. That's the house of the Lord honey. The LORD. You don't dress like that. No damn home training"
Me: "I hear you. But isn't it just as bad to want to smack someone in His house?"
Mom: "This ain't bout me *laughs*"
Me: "Yes ma'am."
Mom: "Looking like Lacey Lottalumps the stripper or something. Like she left the club and went straight to church without changing."
Me: "Lacey Lottalumps? What in the world???"
Mom: "Yup. Her lacey bra was showing and she had a lotta lumps. You know cottage cheese type cellulite and stuff. I know it's not right to talk about people like that. But can you cover it up for a little while? Damn, at least wait till my breakfast is digested before you show that stuff off like that."
Me: "Wow. Just wow mom."
My mom is a damn fool sometimes, but ya can't help but love her. Anyhoo, hope yall had a good weekend! What'd you get into??
15 Comments:
Hey, hey! LOL @ yo mama. I'm tellin you, it's not until you become of age that you appreciate yo momma. You realize that they are funny, down to earth and all that! Won't too much poppin off this weekend but go read my lil blog for more info! Glad you had a nice weekend. Readin a book w/ a glass of wine sounds DEVINE!
LOL @ you mom and her description of Lacey!
I know that girls mama couldn't wait to talk with her about her birth control not working? lol
I can't wait to really begin looking for another vehicle. I've had car fever for a minute and I'm ready to make that purchase.
Come on over to my spot, I've got the Weekend Wrap-Up posted.
Wow those two girls sound like a handful. I am almost thirty and do not talk like that in front of my mom's friends.
Lol @ your mom. She's right though. Why would come to church dressed like that? That is some foolishness.
ABSOLUTELY DEAD.. NOT LACEY LOTTALUMPS..
I'm done..
call da coroner.. lmao
hahahahahahha!! hilarious. i went to church and hung out w/my mommy and of course worked. and pouted b/c i couldn't eat.
lmao @ "Child! I'm not in a gang!!" soooooo something my mom would say!! hilarious. your convo w/mom had me lol ignorantly more than once. hahahahaha. i def. see some outfits that need to go back and try it again every Sunday at the church I'm becoming a regular at.
LOL...your mama sounds like too much fun. The closer we get in age to our folks, we realize how "cool" they are...well for some folks anyway.
Kids are too dayum grown nowadays. I mean even if your mom knew you took bc pills, you don't openly discuss it like you're discussing what you ate in the school cafeteria that day.
I want a new car too. My car will be paid off next spring but it's not what I want.
Some kids have no shame. I wouldn't even think about talking like that in front of my mom's friends and I'm grown.
That's just too funny, there's some people at work that must not have gone home all weekend to change, seriously folks.. :)
just came in monday wearin' Friday's clothes, lookin' CRUSTY..
I am sooo jealous! I wish my mom was still here to joke around with. Keep that connection as long as you possibly can.
Now, If those were the my girls you and D would have had to call the police because I would have lit their asses up like christmas trees.
LMAO @ the Lacey Lottalumps comment.
So THAT's where you get your funny from huh??
I was done at "this ain't about me". Every church has one. That was funny.
Oh that is too funny. Your mom is hecka funny!! Smack the piss outta someone?? I gotta use that one.
Lacey Lottalumps??? Wow...I'm SO gonna use that one too!
Tasha,
I don't personally care what you do, but, take it from someone who bought too much, too soon, for your own financial well being, think long and hard about the economics of buying a new car.
Parental lecture: You're planning to buy a house, D just bought a new ride, your wedding is gonna cost some major coin (they all do), and, yes, you should be saving for a rainy day and *retirement*.
Retirement savings = 4k a year (each) in a Roth IRA for *both* you D. 401(k) is in addition to that.
If you can come to terms with money early on (e.g. at your age), you've got a shot.
Check out this book from the library (or buy it), and take it to heart:
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Money-Life-Transforming-Relationship/dp/0140286780/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-9357185-5475156?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188280471&sr=8-1
I've seen far too many people end up in real financial trouble (my next door neighbors had to sell their house) because they spent too much and saved too little.
Just my two cents. Sorry to be a drag.
@anon- point very well taken, I know exactly where you're coming from. 20% of my paycheck goes first to retirement and savings. I already contribute the max to my 401K (5%) as well does D and we both also have Roth IRAs, with 4K/year each coming out. The last part of that 20% goes into my high-yield savings account. I've taken the debt and money lessons to heart, and am doing my best to be prepared for the future. But thanks for the good advice!
Also, since the accident last year I'm actually paying 2 sets of car payments--for my current vehicle and for the one that was totaled in the accident (which occurred 20 mins after I bought the car). I was never offered gap insurance (neither the dealership, the insurance co, or the finance company had it--I asked), so I'm left paying the remnants of the totalled car loan after what the insurace company paid for the car. So technically, if I can trade the car in, I will be paying less since I'll be able to refi the totalled car's loan into the new loan and only have one car payment. Yeah...it's been a mess!
Moms always crack me up. I am soo surrprised at some of the stuff that comes out my mothers mouth LOl..One time I told her me and my sis saw this man with a six pack outside..she was like did you call the police he aint suppose to be having that all out in the open..I was like mom his stomach WOW LOL
You do gotta pay for what you want..hope you find what you want :)
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