I Do NOT Apologize For My Happiness

I talk about D a lot because he makes me happy and I love what we've created together and I'm looking forward to whatever comes our way--good or bad. My life is good all around, even though I have a job that I sometimes can't stand. I'm blessed in every aspect of my life, from my manicure down to my pedicure and everything internally and externally. My world is beautiful even when the sky is gray, even when I'm going through it and want the tears to go away. I'm happy. Period. And for that, I do NOT apologize. I don't care if my happiness appears saccharine to you, I don't care if you think I'm bragging. Hmmmm and while I'm on bragging...why is it bragging if I talk about something good, but if it's something sad or not great, I'm bearing my soul? Dammit, souls have good sides too.

All the things I've been through in my life don't entitle me to happiness, they only enhance it because I can appreciate happiness more because I know firsthand what it's like to live in misery. I've done people wrong, I've hurt them, and I accept responsibility for that, but that doesn't mean that I have to live my life in tears and sadness.

I've never been one to sit around and wait for happiness to come and roll up on me. I just don't understand how a woman can do that. Go find what puts that smile IN you, not just on your face. No man, no job, no thing can really make you happy until you're happy with yourself. You'll complain about the man, complain about the job, complain about the car, the shoes, the house even if they're the best in the world because you *ahem* ain't happy wit yaself. See, I'mma be happy whether I'm with D or without him. I'mma be happy whether I'm riding high in my corporate job or slangin' burgers at McD's. I'mma be happy whether I'm riding in a brand new whip or if I'm on the bus. I'mma be happy whether I'm in the house I own or if I lay my head on a cot at a homeless shelter. I'mma be happy. Period.

I don't apologize for my joy making anyone uncomfortable. I don't apologize for it making anyone angry. I don't apologize for being one of God's children. I don't apologize for knowing how to keep my head up when the world is trying to bring me down. Talk shit about me, be my friend. Be mad cuz I chose not to make you my man, be my husband. It doesn't matter, cuz I'm happy. Period. And for that I do NOT apologize.



Here's a picture of my D when he was fighting over in Afghanistan--yup he makes me happy, only cuz I was happy with me before there was a 'we':


He's the one on the bottom left side in the shades, the only black dude in the pic, LOL.

**Shouts to the troops still over in that region. We owe you!**