.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
In the Upper Rooooom
Dear Sweet Elderly Church Lady,

Thanks so much for stopping me as I was walking into the grocery store yesterday to examine my religious beliefs. It's so nice of you to look after my soul. But let me break a few things down to you.

I wasn't doing the Holy Ghost dance as you were reading scriptures to me. That was the Pee Pee dance. I was trying to run into the store to the restroom and then do my shopping. That's why I was crying. Well, that and your perfume was choking me to death. I'm not sure if your olfactory sense has been damaged, but when it's 95+ degrees outside with a humidity/heat index of 100+, it's not a smart idea to douse yourself in potpourri scented eau de parfum. The heat intensifies the smell. Maybe that's your plan, to allow your way-flowery smell to rangle people into submission?

It's not nice to tell perfect strangers that they're going to Hell in a handbasket. I'm pretty sure that your religion dictates that you not do that. I know I do some things that don't tickle your fancy--like working outside of the home and cussing like a sailor sometimes, but I'll let the "big rulemaker" decide where I spend eternity and if I go there in a basket or not.

I'm a bit of a germophobe. I don't like people I don't know to touch me, so don't take it personally that I swatted your hand out of my face. Where I'm from, when people put their hands in someone's face, something is about to pop off. You didn't have to bring my mother into it and say, "your mother must not have taught you how to act like a lady". That's where you messed up. Don't talk about my mama. I don't care who or how old you are. So again, don't take it personally that I called you a 'fuckin flaming crazy ass old bitty'. You really caught me at a bad time.

Again, I'm sorry that our encounter was less than pleasant. Really, I am. But a word of advice--don't approach the girl who's running toward the door sweating from the nasty muggy weather with the angry black woman face. It's not a good idea.

Peace and blessings,



Blogger AR Gal said...

I swear the next time someone tells me I'm going to hell, I will tell them I will see them down there.

Blogger Colorful Mind said...

I am going to carry your post in my purse so next time I see one of those ladies stop me on my way into the store, I can read to them!

Blogger Bklyn Diva said...

as I get back into my seat!!!

Tasha tell me you didn't call her that.. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAA

serves her right doe.. she need to preach to her own fam and leave innocent folks alone!

Blogger dc_speaks said...


that has never happened to me before, thanks for the visuals though.

I had a blast reading it.

Blogger Honey-Libra said...



Jesus take the wheel!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I usually agree with you, but, in this case, I think you're being a f*cking retard.

Like the old lady will read your blog entry.

Like the rest of us f*cking care that you live in the hood where the crazies roam.

Move to a real neighborhood (out of MD into VA), and this BS will end.

Blogger Tasha said...

@anon... do you need a nap sweetie?

HA! I don't have time to sit and listen. I'll just so have a nice day and keep walking.

Anonymous Maury Povich said...

Just waiting for the day that you and D appear on the Maury Show so you can reveal your big secret (to him, in front of Maury):

"You've slept with another man and 4-month old LaTonda might not be D's".

24 hours later the results of the paternity test will be revealed to thousands of curious suburbanites.

When you get right down to it, that little old lady is probably sick and tired of seeing the endless parade of ignorant sluts on the Maury Show - and doesn't want to see your big booty on camera, too.

Where's the love?

Anonymous Tasha's Hubby said...

Well, we like to call people retards, but look who is anonymous when leaving a comment such as that. Maybe your the retard. I don't take to kind to people talking about my wifey like that. You must remember we live in the Washington, D.C. area and come across alot of retards. I probably see more crazy people than most in my line or work. Also for your information we don't live in the hood or nowhere near one. So your outburst was really unneccessary and in such a way that requires you to cuss. There are ways to express yourself more respectfully than that. Also the BS won't end because you live in VIRGINIA. I don't know where you live in VA, but I know there are crazies out there also. Fairfax County, Arlington County, Alexandria City and so on. So before you decide to leave another message such as this know what you are saying before you say it so you don't sound foolish. If you didn't cuss on her blog I wouldn't be responding.

Blogger Evolution83 said...

Wow...these folk wildin bout them naggin ass old ladies...no disrespect...but honestly, you had to pee. LOL

Blogger malieta said...

I don't know where other people get off telling somebody else that they are going to hell! It's not for them to decide anyways. This especially burns me up when you know that a certain individual has a "past" and now they are "holy holy" and want to put you down for whatever reason and say something stupid...about people going to hell! I usually stop by and just say a word or two...but this one got to me a little bit.
Have a good day tomorrow

Blogger BZ said...

LMMFAO! I'm so not mad at you!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

D, your bitch is crazy. All the shit seems to happen to her.

Anonymous Tasha's Hubby said...

Okay, ANON 10:19PM, lets clear the air here for a second. PLEASE DO NOT CALL HER OUT OF HER NAME. She is not a female dog. We do not need to be children like and start calling people out of their name. Most of the things that happen I am with her. I am more crazy than she is and I fought for our country in Afghanistan and still a police officer. I get real upset and take it personal when someone calls her a bitch. All I ask is respect for her. Things can easily be said over a computer because no one is in anyone's face saying it. I love her no matter what. So I would ask that you refrain from disrespecting her in anyway shape or form. I am asking you for the second time. Lets just refrain from anymore disrespectful comments.

Blogger Sister Toldja said...

@ D- Ooh, see you are too nice.

@ Anon- You are a punk ass internet bitch! Get a fucking life. If you don't like this sister's blog- skate!

@Tasha- I know y'all are being classy about this, but that shit pissed ME off! Sounds like a case of the ex to me.

Blogger Gunfighter said...

Don't forget all the crazies in Prince William County, Va., too, D!

I SO have your back.

Blogger BeautyinBaltimore said...

Tell me why have the crazies come her. They usually work on Naija blogs. I have 100+ comments by the crazies on Naija blogs.

Blogger Minerva Exertion said...

OMG. I totally agree with Sista Toldja about the ex theory.

Anonymous Just Stopping in said...

Don't waste your keystrokes on the poster that called you out of your name. Something isn't right inside their head.

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home