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Sunday, October 29, 2006
Another Tale from the Sketchy Man File
I'm thinking about making this a weekly feature in this part of the blogosphere, simply because I have these run-ins all too often and more often then not they're just plan wrong or just plain hilarious.

This afternoon I decided to take a walk around my neighborhood instead of going to the gym. While I was out, some poor excuse for a hood urchin comes up to me and really tried to run his very best game. When I say poor excuse, I mean he was wearing some fake-ass supermarket vending machine type of bling with some scruffy lookin tims and a humongous white t-shirt. I'm sure there are plenty of decent brothas who dress this way, but sometimes a person's demeanor tells on them. And trust me, dude was not one of those decent brothas.

"Oooh, I wish I was your t-shirt right now so I could be close to you"

"Excuse me? I'm just trying to get some exercise this afternoon, I'm sorry I'm not trying to be rude but I just want to get my walk on"

"Well lemme just walk witcha"

So I entertained him for a while, and let him walk with me. He proceeded to tell me just how he's going to treat me like a lady and take me to nice dinners at places like Applebee's and Chili's. Ummm, Applebee's? Like carside to go Applebee's? My baby back ribs Chili's? Not that there's anything wrong with those places, cuz lord knows me and my people get our hardcore grub on there, but to try and impress me by telling me you'll buy me a $17.99 meal isn't natural. He also told me how he's going to buy me everything I want. Verbatim he said, "I'll let you go up in Finish Line and you can get whatever Air Max's you want. Girl you thought I didn't notice your red & black Air Max 95's?"

I'm really not interested in what you'll buy me or where you'll take me out to eat, at first anyway. I'll leave that to the hood rats and golddiggers. I'm more concerned with things like personality and if you're gainfully employed. I don't care if you work at McDonald's, I just need to know that you're taking some steps at making a life for yourself. I explained this to my suitor and asked him what he does with himself and he proceeded to tell me that he's not employed because he quit the last job--they were getting on his nerves. But he's in the music game, so he's going to blow up soon and make serious paper. Likely story. He also told me that school was not for him and he had no intent on getting his GED because he'd be making serious paper in the music game.

I don't need a man to have an advanced degree, but you can't just give up on your education because of some outside chance that you might make some money. I was nice and told him that I'm not interested because I have a man (I lied, so what) so he came with the tried and true "I'm hung like a mandingo". (Men, STOP the madness, don't say this when trying to get a woman's attention).

Instant dismissal. I had to get kinda stank and tell him where to go because I wasn't having it. To which he said, "Fine, you're an uppity bitch and I only holla'd cuz you looked like you needed it". I guess some people really don't handle rejection well.


2 Comments:

Blogger Golden Silence said...

Man, these hoodrats know that they don't have much going on in life...they lay out the smoothest games and show their true colors when you tell them "not interested."

Good idea with the weekly "loser" report. I do something called "Parade of Losers." I have to post Vol. III soon (though I've had many other numerous experiences with dumb men).

I cannot wait for the day until these men get the drift and leave well enough alone.

Blogger Darbs said...

LMAO...classic! I just happened upon your blog and wanted to say welcome to Blogland! I'll be sure to swing by again soon!

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