Bridesmaid Blues

Some people like drama too damn much, so when there isn't any to be found they go and create some. Even at their friends' expense.

I've been engaged for less than a month now, and already people are trying to turn this wedding into some kind of Bridezilla blowup. We haven't set a date for our jaunt down the aisle just yet, let alone ask people to be in the wedding. All we know is that we want a small-ish event since we'll be footing the bill ourselves, and because we're both really low-key people.

Before the "Yes, I'll marry you" was completely out of my mouth, the phone was ringing and our email inboxes were full.

Somebody please tell me how it's okay to email someone and ask that you allow them to be your maid of honor or best man. I've gotten 5 different requests from people that all begin something like this:

"...Tasha, congratulations on getting engaged. I can't wait to see you two as an old married couple. I forgot your fiancé's name, I'll have to look at fac.e.bo.ok again, but he's cute. You're cute too, and I think the wedding will be great! I want to help you plan it!! I have one question, do you think I could be your maid of honor? We've known each other since 1985, so that would be hot to have an old friend in your ceremony. You know, something old something new something borrowed and something blue. Just let me know..."

Poor D has gotten similar emails, just altered to fit the request to be a best man. What.the.piss? You don't go around soliciting maid of honor and best man invites. Damn. We know who we're going to ask to be in those positions already (and have known for years, but we just haven't asked yet), so please stop!

When I turned these people down via phone and via email, a few decided to bad mouth us and say they were going to boycott the wedding. Ummm, fine with us...less $$ for us to pay on your plate at the reception! Seriously though, people are trying to turn this into the W.WE main event. Name calling, sending us almost threatning letters and emails. Calling my mama and telling her that I'm a bad daughter. My lawd, what the hell is wrong with folk? Damn, can we get a month to enjoy being engaged before we get to wedding planning?? My goodness, we're not trying to rush this whole process. Shotgun wedding this is not.

Oh and, we don't need your help planning, cousin Kyren, thanks. Please don't be offended when we turn your offer down. Honey, we saw what you did to your cousin's graduation party, and we would be devastated if the same thing happened to us. Don't bring D's mama into this. Just don't take it there, cuz I will get Bridezilla only if I'm forced into it, and I really don't enjoy being mean.

Can we just keep this drama free?