Just because I feel like whining this morning...
-Ok, so why do all the cute shoes wait until my toes/feet are out of commission to show up?! I want to go shoe shopping this weekend, hopefully my foot will be back to a normal size by Saturday.
-I'm not comfortable taking diet advice from a 400 lb. woman. I'm a non-small girl, so I'm allowed to say that. This office woman is forever saying ish like, "when I was small, I didn't use Equal or Splenda, I ate regular sugar so you should too" or "you should eat more leafy veggies because they have iron". Look, I got this weight loss thing under control. Why is she giving advice when she's sitting there eating Chipotle and has gained 60 lbs in the last year? And why aren't you small now? Uggh!
-I'm really tired of hearing about the guy with TB who flew on the planes to and from Europe. What he did is already done, there is no need for the squabbling about it now. Move forward and get the situation dealt with.
-Why, black women, whyyyyyy??? I had to go to Targét yesterday after work, and while I was in there these two ginormous black women were in there talkin about how they're going to buy this top (a workout shirt/sports bra thingy) and wear it to the club. There needs to be a stop to the gym in there too.
-Like a lot of other bloggers have said this week: We work in an office, not the club. Please dress accordingly. If you know you have thick legs and a booty to match, DO NOT wear a mini skirt to work. It will ride up in the back and your whole azz will be showing, and you'll think you're too sexy cuz people are looking your way when in fact we're actually looking at your panties which say Sunday when today is Wednesday.
-Who said it was okay to smoke weed with your baby in the car with you? Triflin azz people. Yall think we can't see what you're doing at the stoplight??? I wish we were able to get your tag #.
-This toe situation has left my pedicure less than attractive. Booooooo. Guess I'll be trying to get that remedied this weekend. Dammit, only I could pull off some mess like that--fall off the damn shoe and break toes. Only me, I swear.
-We're having a party at work tomorrow for this dude who's getting married in a few weeks, and we were all asked to contribute. I haven't contributed yet, because I know the man is cheating on his fiancée and he looks like he has homo-thug tendencies. I respect the institution of marriage too much to support the lil shindig.
-My ex is trying like hell to get back on my good side. He invited me to "hang out" at Love this weekend since he's a "club promoter" now. He needs to go somewhere, cuz the only thing he's good at promoting is his non-dateability.
-I just learned that 65% of my co-workers are age 21 and under. That explains a lot, but they look much older. Hard life maybe?
-Not whining at all here... I'm so happy and so blessed. Even with the ridiculous job I have, the broken toes, a past that's less than cute, and all the trials and obstacles, I still love my life.
-Ok, so why do all the cute shoes wait until my toes/feet are out of commission to show up?! I want to go shoe shopping this weekend, hopefully my foot will be back to a normal size by Saturday.
-I'm not comfortable taking diet advice from a 400 lb. woman. I'm a non-small girl, so I'm allowed to say that. This office woman is forever saying ish like, "when I was small, I didn't use Equal or Splenda, I ate regular sugar so you should too" or "you should eat more leafy veggies because they have iron". Look, I got this weight loss thing under control. Why is she giving advice when she's sitting there eating Chipotle and has gained 60 lbs in the last year? And why aren't you small now? Uggh!
-I'm really tired of hearing about the guy with TB who flew on the planes to and from Europe. What he did is already done, there is no need for the squabbling about it now. Move forward and get the situation dealt with.
-Why, black women, whyyyyyy??? I had to go to Targét yesterday after work, and while I was in there these two ginormous black women were in there talkin about how they're going to buy this top (a workout shirt/sports bra thingy) and wear it to the club. There needs to be a stop to the gym in there too.
-Like a lot of other bloggers have said this week: We work in an office, not the club. Please dress accordingly. If you know you have thick legs and a booty to match, DO NOT wear a mini skirt to work. It will ride up in the back and your whole azz will be showing, and you'll think you're too sexy cuz people are looking your way when in fact we're actually looking at your panties which say Sunday when today is Wednesday.
-Who said it was okay to smoke weed with your baby in the car with you? Triflin azz people. Yall think we can't see what you're doing at the stoplight??? I wish we were able to get your tag #.
-This toe situation has left my pedicure less than attractive. Booooooo. Guess I'll be trying to get that remedied this weekend. Dammit, only I could pull off some mess like that--fall off the damn shoe and break toes. Only me, I swear.
-We're having a party at work tomorrow for this dude who's getting married in a few weeks, and we were all asked to contribute. I haven't contributed yet, because I know the man is cheating on his fiancée and he looks like he has homo-thug tendencies. I respect the institution of marriage too much to support the lil shindig.
-My ex is trying like hell to get back on my good side. He invited me to "hang out" at Love this weekend since he's a "club promoter" now. He needs to go somewhere, cuz the only thing he's good at promoting is his non-dateability.
-I just learned that 65% of my co-workers are age 21 and under. That explains a lot, but they look much older. Hard life maybe?
-Not whining at all here... I'm so happy and so blessed. Even with the ridiculous job I have, the broken toes, a past that's less than cute, and all the trials and obstacles, I still love my life.
8 Comments:
ok u got me on the floor DYING bout this woman!!! 400lbs and giving advice??? how about she take it LOL at not using splenda or equal LMAO hahahaaaaa
hilarious!
A workout shirt and sports bra to the club?????!!!!! Get the fugg outta here! bwahahahahaha
I love this post. Hilarious. Especially the overweight woman giving you eating advice.
As an obese person I am going to TRY and play the opposite side.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaybe she has been losing (ex. she used to be 450) and she is letting you know what used to and is working for you? Maybe? *shrug*
I hate when anyone wears stuff they are not supposed to! UGH!
Sorry to hear about the toes. Speedy recovery!
AND whyyyyyy won't you take dieting advice from a 400 pound woman! lol j/k j/k.
That wasn't whining, Tasha... that was speaking the truth.
"-I just learned that 65% of my co-workers are age 21 and under. That explains a lot, but they look much older. Hard life maybe?"
That does explain things. And those kids probably look rough because they're too busy passing the Courvoisier and smoking joints. Looking at those "ghetto prom" pictures floating around online, someone made a comment saying how hard and old those teens looked...if they thought higher of themselves and took pride in their appearance then they wouldn't have to look like they're on the "nicer" side of 40 at age 19.
And a 400-lb. woman telling you how to lose weight...she's projecting her insecurities and trying to make you feel bad to put herself up. She needs to work on hitting the gym from what it sounds like.
thank you for my laugh of the week!
Post a Comment
<< Home