.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Death By Heelie
This morning I went to WaWa to get my coffee as usual and to catch up with PoliceBoy after his overnight shift before I made the trek through the faux tundra to work. I was fixing my cappuccino, which I got free because police get their beverages free (yay for PoliceBoy's career choice, lol), when out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of primary colors and long hair fly by me.

By the time I turned my head in that direction, nothing was there. I figured I'd just seen something through the window and let it go. But then came the giggling and the shrieking, and it became all to clear to me that the chirrens were out. I went back to fixing my drink then suddenly heard the hollow rolling sound of a mini rollerskate wheel and then everything happened so fast from there. PoliceBoy said, "Tasha move" just as this hulking mess of child ran into me running and rolling around on a brand new pair of Heely shoes.

If you don't know, Heelies look something like this:

"BAM" "THUD" and there was impact! I got knocked on my ass by this crazy looking kid with the twizzlers hanging out of his mouth and chocolate in his hand. I got back up and gave him a serious side eye, then PoliceBoy (who was still in his patrol uniform) said to the kid, "Apologize. To. Her." I couldn't help but laugh because the look on the poor kid's face was that of sheer terror at angering a policeman.

PoliceBoy: "Kid, could you please apologize for running into her?"

Kid: "Don't take me to jail ok?"

PB: (laughing) "I'm not going to take you to jail, it's just respectful to apologize since you knocked her down"

Kid: "Ma'am I'm sorry. I apologize"

Me: "No problem, thank you for apologizing. Have a good day, be careful on those shoes PLEASE!"

I'm not sure what genius thought it would be a good thing to give young kids tennis shoes with rollerskate wheels in the heels, but apparently their thought process was faulty. I've seen lots of uncoordinated children run into people, buildings, and other inanimate objects in these things. I'm not mad at all, because some kids have the heelie skate-walk-skate-roll-run under control. I just wish the parents who buy the shoes would give some instructions to their kids, especially if they know the child is a klutz (yes I said it--some children are completely uncoordinated, and that's just how it is).

#1- Try not to run into people or parked cars
#2- Apologize when you do run into people
#3- Don't wear them in church, or at least don't use the skate part

Most of the kids on the heelies are perfectly cool though, I've seen a few with the skill of rollerskating waitresses and get around with definite ease. But this leads me to think if we had anything "cool" like Heelies when I was a kid. Of course not, all we had were the fisher price 'snap-em-on-your-shoe' skates:

I think I had two pairs of those bad boys. With them on, I managed to move slower than I could walk. Going all of -6 mph scraping against the concrete sidewalk. I remember I made the mistake of going with my brother to the skate rink thinking I could keep up in my Fisher-Price speed skates. Heh! Let's just say my brother had my lil behind sitting at the rental counter getting some proper skates within about 5 minutes. Needless to say, there was no running into anyone with those plasti-skates on, hell, there was no movement in those skates to begin with. Those were the days!! :-)

Oh, I'm fine by the way--I didn't land on a kidney again or anything like last week. No spilled coffee or anything, just laughs and maybe a bruised ego (PoliceBoy was laughing way too hard at me once the kid apologized) Am I the only one who's not a fan of the heelie shoes?


Blogger Miz JJ said...

My niece who is 11 has those shoes and they are seriously a hazard. I did laugh at PB scaring the little kid though.

Blogger Golden Silence said...

I've seen those kids on Heelies before...I didn't know they actually had wheels in them! I thought the kids were just really good at gliding...

The Fisher-Price skates! Another 80s flashback...I used to have a pair and walk-skate in them.

Blogger emptyHEART said...

'I didn't know they actually had wheels in them! I thought the kids were just really good at gliding...' .......LMAO!

I hate these shoes with a severe passion. I can't make it through the mall without some anklebiter whizzing by me only to bust they ass within the next five seconds. It's funny sometimes, but they just annoy me for some reason.

Anonymous Akilah said...

Maybe you're the only one. I'd kind of like to get me a pair...
and no, you gotta say it, some kids - some people - just ain't coordinated. Life ain't fair and thass a fact.

Blogger SlapHappy Gemini said...

I actually saw an adult male in the mall on saturday with a pair of these on - and I'm not gonna front, I thought about getting a pair for myself. Then my inherent coolness factor kicked in, and I scrapped the idea.

Blogger Gunfighter said...

Yeah they look like fun, but I may slap the mess out of one of those little so-and-so's... and their parents the next time one of them crashes into me at the mall.

Skate outside, dammit!

Blogger Leon said...

Those Heely's annoy me too, but I even thought about getting a pair, but I got too much swagger for that. But I wear Crocs (never in public), so go figure.

I had a pair of those Fisher-Price snap-on skates. I was always falling down, and I outgrew them really quickly. Thanks for the memory trip!

I love your blog. I'll defnitely be coming back for more.

Blogger Leon said...

BTW, thanks for adding me to your link list. I appreciate it!

Blogger jameil1922 said...

policeboy is hilarious. they're banned at a grocery store near my house. them lil brats piss me off whizzing past people. and no, they are all not that coordinated. when you're 14 w/heelies, you're a loser. and i will tell a kid that too. i don't care abt your feelins. i ain't ya mama, i don't love you. she probably don't either. LMAO!

Blogger Bygbaby said...

My baby girls want some of these things & I will be dead before they get them. They just seem so dangerous

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home