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Thursday, February 01, 2007
Creating a Black HerStory
Ring ring ring.

Me: "Hello?"

Keisha: "Miss Tasha?? It's Keisha*"

Me: "What's up? Sweetie, it's really late, why are you up?"

Keisha: "I need to talk to you. I promise you I didn't know"

Just from that statement alone I knew I was in for some news I didn't want. Holding on to the promise of an 11 year old is an uncertain thing to do, but way in the back of my mind and the back of my heart I just knew she wasn't going to allow herself to be compromised in that way.

Me: "What didn't you know?"

Keisha: "He told me that it wasn't sex if I let him put it in my ass-hole. Sorry, I know that's not good to say that word like that, but that's what he said. So I let him, but I found out that it was sex. I promise I didn't know"

Me: (to myself: Lawdamercy!) "Wait. You mean what we talked about. Saturday at the party?"

Keisha: "Yeah. Miss Tasha, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know!!"

Me: "Calm down, I'm not mad. Are you okay though? I mean like is your body ok?"

Keisha: "Yeah, I'm okay and I'll be at practice in the morning. I can dance fine. Why?"

Me: "That's not what I meant. But nevermind. Honey, did me make you do that with him?"

Keisha: "No. He told me it would be okay because it wasn't really sex. But then I found out from my sister that it is, and I'm mad at him because he lied to me. But now he won't speak to me"

I must have stayed on the phone with her for about two hours listening to her and letting her know that the world isn't going to hate her for doing what she did. She confided in me that he up until that point didn't know how old she really was--she'd told him that she was 14, compared to his 16. I gave her the biological breakdown of everything surrounding what she did, what she'd originally considered doing, and what could have happened--I really don't trust the women in her family to handle that given the way they carry on.

With this being the beginning of Black History Month, this is not the history I want her to be creating for herself. Too many of our people have died trying to get us on an equal playing field with the rest of the world, and we insult their legacy every time we teach a young person that it's perfectly alright to compromise themselves and be mediocre "because it's cute".

At the end of our conversation, she said to me, "No one ever told me I was good at anything, except you when you first started teaching me to dance. Maybe one day I will be able to help people too and tell other people that they're good". I can only hope that maybe with the right amount of guidance, and keeping her around positive minded women of every race that her Black HerStory changes for the better.


Blogger emptyHEART said...

Wow, eleven years old.

I tip my hat to you Tasha, you have helped this young woman more than most of us realize.

I pray to God to help me when I have children, I would have to kill that dirty lil boy if that was my daughter.

Blogger Paula D. said...

Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy!!!! I'm just shaking my head for that little girl. I pray that mentally & physically she will be alright. Hopefully she will concentrate on school & dancing from now on.

I also hope she continues to be open with you 'cause we know what her mama would say.......nothing helpful!

Blogger CreativeTDF said...

MY Gawd, Co-signing with Paula...chile I don't klnow if I would have handled it as well as you, my heart just broke reading that. That girl is still a baby and already a piece of her innocence is gone. Why is she even allowed to be EXPOSED to 16 boys?

Blogger Miz JJ said...

It is so good that she has you to come too. I co-sign with creativetdf. Why is she being exposed to boys that old?? Damn.

Blogger Honey-Libra said...

WOW...I tell ya. Her mom needs a serious brain check...I'm glad she has you

Anonymous aulelia said...

as usual tasha, you are enlightening with your posts. i cannot believe that this poor girl has been exploited like that. you are a role-model to her girl and keep showing her the good path :)

Blogger jameil1922 said...

man that's beautiful. (the last paragraph). i'm so glad she had you to call and talk to this about.

Anonymous Hey Hey Hey said...

In my community, the boy would be in hot water. There is no some thing as consent at age 11.

One well-placed call to Child Services and the boy will learn how fleeting the moment really was.

Blogger Gunfighter said...

She is only three years older than my daughter... and people think I am joking when I say that a boy like that would leave the planet if he ever did something like that with my child.

I'm not.

OMG- 11 years old? That hurts my heart. That little girl is so blessed that she has you in her life because I can't tell you how many little girls have exploited and abused with no one to stand up for them. When I make it to the Supreme Court, child molestors and perverted little boys will be serverly taught a lesson. And yikes @ Gunfighter, LOL!

Blogger Golden Silence said...

Whoa. This little girl's innocence is lost. Stay involved in her life and give her the encouragement to excel in life. It makes me sick that this teenaged fool took this little girl's virginity away. It makes me so sad.

Anonymous DJ Black Adam said...

That is truly one of the saddest stories I have heard. Two problems, one, no one taught this 16 year old boy about having respect and honor for his sisters. Two, no one taught this girl that she was precious and her body to be respected and to be shared in marriage with someone who loves, honors and respects her.

The media pushes to these kids with every stupid arse stripper, pimp, that's my man, I got the good stuff, silly song and video that these things are o.k., and the parents are either absentee or not any more mature than the children.

Makes me so angry and sad.

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