Stuff you just don't do

Some stuff you should just know better than to do. I swear some people really just suck at life and need remedial help.

-Washing your curling iron with dishwater: My cousin did this yesterday. Then she plugged the damn thing up, got shocked, and is wondering why it won’t work today. She said she needed to get the hair oil build up off of it.

-Apply for a credit card in yo’ mama’s name without her permission: My nephew: “But Tasha, I had her SSN, and funds was tight, so I applied for a Visa card. I really meant to pay it all back on time. Yo, can I borrow $400 to pay that off? I can’t believe she checked her credit report and saw it. How she know it was me tho? Just cuz the card was sent to this address…Well at least she aint pressin charges or nuffin”

-Catch a case screamin at your boo about them cheatin on you when you got 4 or 5 negroes on the side: Co worker. On the phone screaming at her man WHILE she’s emailing that side dude

-Buy a $800 set of rims for your 1989 CRX that cost $500, and you still owe $300 on LAST month’s rent, are about to get your lights turned off, and the Comcast guy is about to come and get your box and remote: My friend’s sister: “Tasha, (my friend, her sister) won’t give me any money and all my shit’s about to get cut off. You think you could help me out??”

-Get your stuff repo’ed by Rent-A-Center: My ex. Dammit man, just return the stuff if you know you can’t make next week’s payment. Thank goodnesss we ain’t together no more. And HELL NAW you can’t borrow enough to pay the week’s payment that you owe.

-Get your boo’s prison # tattooed on your neck: An old friend from back home. What the fawk, broad? You actually called me to tell me this dumb shit?

-Complain about how your rent is too high when you make much more money than me, and you live in a rent subsidized or Section 8 or whatever apartment: Co worker. This chick pays like $200 a month and lives in a brand new apt complex. The apt has 2 levels, is nice as all get out…but the rent’s too high?? OMG woman, you make damn near 6 figures. What the hell is wrong with your life? Can we trade?

-Tell a war veteran that stuff over in battle isn’t that bad when you haven’t done a lick of time in the military: Former co worker/associate. Told Hunny that the war in Iraq and Afghanistan isn’t shit, that it’s not as bad as the media makes it out to be. Hunny’s a veteran--did a tour in Afghanistan and tried to explain how jacked up it was to have rocket attacks and all the other bad shit they had to deal with. Just how much worse it was than the media makes it out to be. This dude had the nerve to challenge Hunny and say that he was lying. Apparently dude’s friend was in the military, and got out shortly before he would have been deployed—so neither of them knew what the hell they were talking about.

-Tell your child they are the worst mistake you ever made: Co worker. Said this mess on the phone to her 12 year old daughter. The girl had called to tell her mama that she’d started her period. Mama was mad that she’d have to go to the store after work and spend her money on extra pads and tampons instead of buying liquor.

-Cuss out the girl behind the counter because she couldn’t give you your change in only $1 bills: Friend from the grave. Broad, what you need all them $1’s for?

I’m looking for a nice way to tell these people they need to find a clue and hold on tight.