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Thursday, February 22, 2007
Check Your Girl!
Ring. Ring.


"Yeah, is this Tasha?"

"Yeah, and why?"

"Do you know Sean?"


"Girl. Do you know Sean Lastname?"

"Yeah, that's my cousin. Who is this?"

"Well I saw you texted him 'I love you' yesterday. So I had to check"


9:00 this morning my cellphone was ringing and I had this exchange with some chick my cousin is dating. Well, probably after today they won't be dating anymore. I should be mad at her for calling me while I'm at work trying to start some ruckus. But I'm really sad for her.

I know a lot of females who have been on the receiving end of phonecalls like that and more often than not, the offending male is a cousin or some other non-sexual person in her life. It's so sad that chicks feel insecure with their men to the point that they will call up a complete stranger to cuss them out for taking her man.

If you are worried about that, then he isn't your man to begin with. There is no way in my ever loving life that I'm going to call up some female that I think MY MAN is cheating with and cuss her out, especially before I scream on him about it. See, I kept talking to the chick who called me, and found out that she hadn't even confronted my cousin about his suspected cheating but was instead tracking down every person he called or texted who had a phone number that she didn't recognize.

I asked her what stalking random people was going to do for her relationship, and she couldn't give me much of a coherent answer. She kept saying something about "he's gotta earn my trust", but was struggling when I said she has to give him the chance to do so. Checking up behind him all the time isn't trustworthy, and once he finds out she's been snooping around his stuff, he'll NEVER trust her.

I had to ask her, with snooping around and being suspect of him all the time, what kind of effort was she putting into making the relationship grow. All she could tell me was that she wouldn't let him disrespect her. Nothing about how she loves him, respects him, and vice versa. It became clear to me that she was more interested in keeping a man, no matter what, than being a good girlfriend and allowing trust to permeate her relationship.

It makes me sick when I see women lower themselves to initiating conversations like this, or getting straight stalker on a man. I always hear about chicks waiting for ol' boy out in the bushes, or her calling every woman in his phone, or other dumb mess like that and I never understood the purpose. Maybe I'm just wrong for thinking it's easier to just ask, and if you get a sideways ass answer, than just leave. Setting yourself up to be hurt or to make yourself look stupid is never cute.

Anyhoo, I'd spoken to her man (my cousin) a few days ago, and he told me that he's planning on proposing to her this weekend and he's got an elaborate setup planned out, so he's nervous. I don't want to call him today and tell him that his girl's blown a headgasket--I'm not trying to get caught up in some unneeded drama. I just hope she chills the hell out until Saturday--it'd be terrible if her own dumb ass actions were what keep her from potential happiness.


Anonymous Akilah said...

My Grams usta say, "Suspicious eyes welcome the Devil."

You did good, Tasha. And just think, this chick may be a permanent part of your life soon!

Blogger Golden Silence said...

Women do that because they don't want to think the man is capable of distrust. In their minds it's "better" to be mad at the other women than the men in their lives.

Blogger Miz JJ said...

I never understand women like that. If you suspect your man is cheating then instead of playing inspector gadget you need to be packing up your shit and leaving.

I feel bad for your cousin because he is always going to have to justify himself that chick.

Anonymous goldiilocs said...


I done had this guy I know but haven't seen yet talked to in 2 years girl call me out of the blue and tell me, "Don't call this number back". I'm like....okay, and I don't even know who this number belongs to! It is really sad when females feel the need to cause trouble and strife because they are unhappy. It's sad. Why be in a relationship if you can't even trust your man? Why be in a relationship when you don't even feel like you can trust any man! How sad.

not surprised at all by that phone call you got...a lot of people don't have a clue about loving, healthy relationships and are almost too eager to let strangers know they have no clue.

but to her credit, she's convinced your cousin that her concept of love is what he needs in his life.

i know a lot of single women who have a clue on how to be in love and maintain their self-respect and dignity.

Anonymous aulelia said...

those kinds of women need to get a grip. that sort of insecurity just screams desperation. if you don't feel like you can trust him, don't go screaming down at other girls!

you handled it good :)

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