I know it's only Monday, but already this week I've been seeing some stuff that's just not quite right.
1)Subway shouldn't sell breakfast-- I work near several Subway Sandwich spots and I've never seen that place as anything more than a place to get lunch or maybe a quick dinner. I was just in there picking up lunch, when I saw a sign advertising that breakfast is now being sold there I caught the nastiest image in my head. Say you want a ham, egg, and cheese sandwich or something, is the clerk going to ask you if you want that six inch or foot long and on what kind of bread?! Imagine, your sandwich being created on six-inch italian herbs and cheese bread. Something doesn't sound quite right about that.
2)My boss has had the munchies all day--I'm not going to touch this one with a ten foot pole. But his eyes look funny. Pleading total ignorance. *Backs away slowly*
3)The nail tech lady--She's been watching too much BET and hasn't been paying enough attention to her ESL classes lately. Before I stopped at Subway, I stopped in the nail place to get my wolfman jack eyebrows waxed and when I said hello, she said "What's crack-a-lackin?". Dayum! That's some old Snoop Dogg/Double Dutch Bus type speak. "Dizzouble Dizzutch, Dizzouble Dizzutch" (Don't look at me like that, you know what song I mean!). But as soon as she sat me down in the waxing chair, she suddenly didn't understand me when I was saying "How are you" "Strange weather lately". Just not quite right
4)The homeless guy--There's a homeless guy near my job, and him and I have had a number of really deep conversations. I don't know why people act like homeless people are some Night of the Living Dead-brand savages with no brains or souls. Sometimes I'll buy him a cup of coffee or a muffin and we talk about politics and such. Well today, he was dressed in a suit and carrying a UPS box. I asked if he'd gotten a job, and he said no that he just wanted to dress up. Just not quite right
Maybe it's me, but I feel like I've entered some alternate dimension today. People look the same, most everything else is the same, but something is just off. Maybe I need to go back to bed and start all over again.
1)Subway shouldn't sell breakfast-- I work near several Subway Sandwich spots and I've never seen that place as anything more than a place to get lunch or maybe a quick dinner. I was just in there picking up lunch, when I saw a sign advertising that breakfast is now being sold there I caught the nastiest image in my head. Say you want a ham, egg, and cheese sandwich or something, is the clerk going to ask you if you want that six inch or foot long and on what kind of bread?! Imagine, your sandwich being created on six-inch italian herbs and cheese bread. Something doesn't sound quite right about that.
2)My boss has had the munchies all day--I'm not going to touch this one with a ten foot pole. But his eyes look funny. Pleading total ignorance. *Backs away slowly*
3)The nail tech lady--She's been watching too much BET and hasn't been paying enough attention to her ESL classes lately. Before I stopped at Subway, I stopped in the nail place to get my wolfman jack eyebrows waxed and when I said hello, she said "What's crack-a-lackin?". Dayum! That's some old Snoop Dogg/Double Dutch Bus type speak. "Dizzouble Dizzutch, Dizzouble Dizzutch" (Don't look at me like that, you know what song I mean!). But as soon as she sat me down in the waxing chair, she suddenly didn't understand me when I was saying "How are you" "Strange weather lately". Just not quite right
4)The homeless guy--There's a homeless guy near my job, and him and I have had a number of really deep conversations. I don't know why people act like homeless people are some Night of the Living Dead-brand savages with no brains or souls. Sometimes I'll buy him a cup of coffee or a muffin and we talk about politics and such. Well today, he was dressed in a suit and carrying a UPS box. I asked if he'd gotten a job, and he said no that he just wanted to dress up. Just not quite right
Maybe it's me, but I feel like I've entered some alternate dimension today. People look the same, most everything else is the same, but something is just off. Maybe I need to go back to bed and start all over again.
2 Comments:
You have just entered The Twilight Zone. (theme song plays)
Nice post; and good looking out for the homeless guy. Now get his SS# and claim him on your taxes next year.
I kid I kid.
Post a Comment
<< Home