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Sunday, November 19, 2006
Stomp-down at the Toystore
It's Christmas shopping season again, so that means the toy stores are full of savages trying to get the popular toy in time to put under the tree and slap a "From Santa" tag on the box. I had to go to a big toy store yesterday afternoon to buy a birthday and Christmas gift for my godson and I saw grown people acting like jungle animals stalking their prey.

I was looking for one of the new Elmo dolls, and when I saw one, it was the last one on the shelf. As soon as I reached my arm out to pick it up, a flash of hair and acrylic nails came out of nowhere and snatched the doll up. The woman ran between me and the shelf so fast that I lost my balance and almost hit the floor, and to top it off, the biyotch broke my bracelet in her haste. Hmmph.

I regained my balance, and proceeded to pick up a few more items. Just as I was making my way to the checkout, there was an announcement that Playstation 3's were being made available at the store. All of a sudden I felt the floor shake and I heard a crescendo of footsteps like from the stampede scene in the Lion King. I knew a herd of video-game system hungry adults was about to make a rush toward the counter, so I got in full Rambo-renegade mode to protect myself because I knew that running would be a futile attempt at self-preservation. Arms crouched, elbows out, purse strap around my neck so it wouldn't get accidentally ripped from my arm.

There I was, me against the heathens. Not more than 3 seconds later, they rushed. I'm talking full-on soccer mom stampede. I had no idea that the 5-foot tall Coach bag wielding set was so strong. I felt like a football tackling dummy being pushed out of the way with the force of a 400-pound offensive lineman. I think someone actually lifted me up and put me down out of his or her way. I've never been in a mosh pit, but if that is what it feels like, you can keep that. I want no part of it.

By the time I finally made my way to the counter to pay for my items--which I managed to somehow keep safe in my posession, there was one woman left trying to get her hands on a PS3. "What do you mean there are no more left? You don't understand, I MUST purchase one TODAY!!". The poor kid behind the counter told them that they could reserve one and pay for it now, and when the next shipment came in, all they'd have to do is come to the store and pick it up. As those words came out of his mouth, I saw a look on the woman's face that could have warranted a trip to the psych ward. She leaned over the counter, cellphone in hand as if it were a knife or gun, like she was really about to do something. "That is UNACCEPTABLE!! GIVE ME THE GAME! NOW. RIGHT NOW. I will give you everything I own to get one. My kids NEED this for Christmas!!" All I could do was shake my head as I was completing my purchase.

I made it out of the store in one piece, and I thank the heavens above for that. But it really frightens me when I see grown people willing to sell their souls to get a game system that will be replaced by something better in a year or two. I know that parents want to make their children and themselves happy this holiday season, and I'm all for that. I'm not saying you shouldn't make an attempt to get them what they want for the most part, but when getting your prize involves scaring people out of their wits, that's a problem. I guess this year when I head to the mall to finish my holiday shopping, I should wear full body armor and a helmet. Online shopping for everything is sounding more and more appealing every day. At least the Fed Ex delivery guy won't bumrush me to get the packages to my door.


Blogger Gunfighter said...

Somehow I suspect those same people aren't spending anywhere near as much time shopping for books for their children.


Blogger Golden Silence said...

Or setting standards and morals, either.

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